Ronald Mah, M.A., Ph.D.  Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist MFC32136

                                   Psychotherapy for Children, Teens, Adults, Couples, & Families, Consulting, & Training

          433 Estudillo Ave., #305, San Leandro, CA 94577-4915 - Office: (510) 614-5641 - Fax: (510) 889-6553 - e-mail: Ronald@RonaldMah.com - website: www.RonaldMah.com

            Map Link to Office         HOME       about Ronald    Blog on Teens  Articles    Therapy & Counseling    Coaching    Workshops & Consulting    Handouts    for Therapists    Books    DVDs    Links      Contact    LinkedInMake Payment  Schedule Monthly Payment

Books by Ronald Mah

 

Calligraphy for "Learning" in

Handouts

(Mini-Posters)

 

DVDs

by Ronald Mah

on Children's Behavior,

Discipline, and Child

Development at

                   

Articles

for Parents, Teachers, Educators, and Human Services Professionals

 

Consulting,

Parent Education,

& Staff Development Workshops

& Trainings

 

Professional

Development

Workshops, Articles, & Consultation,

for Therapists

 

Therapy & Counseling

 

Coaching

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Books by Ronald Mah, M.A., Ph.D., L.M.F.T.

 

https://dwtr67e3ikfml.cloudfront.net/bookCovers/a40d69e61b3d3777a5e634d246da3edb42e8e8cc

To order online from

www.Smashwords.com

Scorpion in the Bed,

The Narcissist in Couples and Couple Therapy

https://dwtr67e3ikfml.cloudfront.net/bookCovers/c05b8b9150f47fdfcef6ca8c7c6ad99542adf142 https://dwtr67e3ikfml.cloudfront.net/bookCovers/ec855fb133bcca4213c3fd5178b3e6deceee1fb0 https://dwtr67e3ikfml.cloudfront.net/bookCovers/be6e63886408c3a615eb5de66b44df956848d206 https://dwtr67e3ikfml.cloudfront.net/bookCovers/a4a1b93af9a127eab0f674882c81aa459c4eeb75 https://dwtr67e3ikfml.cloudfront.net/bookCovers/a40d69e61b3d3777a5e634d246da3edb42e8e8cc https://dwtr67e3ikfml.cloudfront.net/bookCovers/0a638a0f9ea0f1d48faa492e43c20fa6123944d8 https://dwtr67e3ikfml.cloudfront.net/bookCovers/678ff1ae59e53352335f40f7851476c38a82231f https://dwtr67e3ikfml.cloudfront.net/bookCovers/41feb3128a1ff85e2000bc518841867aa7d084d4 https://dwtr67e3ikfml.cloudfront.net/bookCovers/1d11ad0be27656f0e8734ad9321c423b14005977 https://dwtr67e3ikfml.cloudfront.net/bookCovers/54a98133f631ea377c805ba00e33f424035e6c8a https://dwtr67e3ikfml.cloudfront.net/bookCovers/47e861772a4b1d51b263a551c91bbdf2298d3d08 https://dwtr67e3ikfml.cloudfront.net/bookCovers/ec2e2669af6fca79cdb121f1c0eb8216fbbbb138 https://dwtr67e3ikfml.cloudfront.net/bookCovers/47b78319502d3cc58e041a1fd248e9bda2ecba88 https://dwtr67e3ikfml.cloudfront.net/bookCovers/a94d65d605fbddd1a9f2203c474ec5ef8579575e https://dwtr67e3ikfml.cloudfront.net/bookCovers/9a613c73fa4efd3aa8d3bc4be3bf82d4b5cd1721 https://dwtr67e3ikfml.cloudfront.net/bookCovers/fee667a229ef414211ba2033215dd9ef4c1df562 https://dwtr67e3ikfml.cloudfront.net/bookCovers/74328c9acfbac70560107b1e64a882425f2099d8

Scorpion in the Bed, The Narcissist in Couples and Couple Therapy

"Scorpion in the Bed, The Narcissist in Couples and Couples Therapy" guides essential adjustments in therapy to deal w/ the narcissism of one partner in a couple. Otherwise effective couple therapy interventions fail if narcissism is missed, since narcissism affects all aspects of relationship functioning: intimacy, communication, reciprocality/mutuality, equity negotiation, boundaries, roles, & so forth. Intimacy & connection as expressed goals do not supersede the narcissist's compulsive needs for grandiosity, omnipotence, self-righteousness, & entitlement. Understanding narcissistic disruption & attacks- scorpion stings difficult to manage in individual therapy, direct dealing w/ couple therapy complexity including the partner who has endured narcissistic stings.

Origins & characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder guide couple therapy similar to, but often highly distinctive from individual therapy. Beyond the therapist & narcissist dynamics, are 3 additional dynamics crucial to couple therapy: therapist & non-narcissistic partner, narcissist & non-narcissist partner, and therapist & couple. More passive or egalitarian therapies are shown to be counter-indicated because they often do not deal w/ grandiosity, self-righteousness, & resultant entitlement to strike out at others. Conceptual foundation & strategic approaches require the therapist to take a powerful, assertive, & authoritative role & stance to confront & successfully address individual narcissism & its effect in the couple.

The therapist will learn interventions based on anxious partner scrutiny of the therapist to see if he or she will be similarly manipulated & abused. Therapist failure to successfully manage narcissistic assaults destroys the partner's hope for successful therapy & an improved relationship. The strong counter-transference of disliking the narcissist improves accurate assessment of narcissism & gives direction for effective treatment. The therapist must own & manage his or her need to be liked & respected, including any overt or latent personal narcissism. The therapist will learn how & why the narcissist instinctively & overtly attacks such issues in the therapist. A third-observer strategy to deal w/ narcissistic dismissal & omnipotence is presented for empowering both partner & therapist feedback. Without this key strategy, the therapist remains disempowered & dismissed by the narcissist to offer any interventions not to his or her liking.

The therapist is directed to recognize that couple therapy may be the one & only opportunity to salvage the relationship. Despite recommendations to refer the narcissist to individual therapy to deal first w/ the personality disorder, the couple's viability may not tolerate any delay in treatment. Couple therapy is conceptualized as the best opportunity to force the individual teetering on the precipice of relationship dissolution to face his/her narcissism, including specifically his/her grandiosity. The book also describes the several types of & rationales for partners, specific personalities, & personality disorders who couple w/ narcissists. Included is a type of partner w/ non-pathological but defining family-of-origin experiences, who is also most likely to eventually transcend the partnership w/ a narcissist. The therapist is guided how to simultaneously manage these various partner styles along w/ the narcissistic personality for effective couple therapy.

Couple therapy that includes a narcissistic partner is significantly more complex & difficult. The narcissism is not an extra or merely an important element in the couple, but fundamentally defines the couple, including how & why the partners coupled & remain coupled or not. Successful couple therapy that includes a narcissistic partner requires a conceptually sophisticated & skilled therapist wary of but able to deal w/ the scorpion's sting.

 

 

 

 

     Map Link to Office              HOME      about Ronald      Articles     Therapy & Counseling     Workshops & Consulting     Handouts     for Therapists     Books     DVDs     Links     Contact       
 
433 Estudillo Ave., #305, San Leandro, CA 94577-4911 Office: (510) 614-5641 - Fax: (510) 889-6553 - E-mail: Ronald@RonaldMah.com 
 
Send mail to Ronald@RonaldMah.com with questions or comments about this web site.
Copyright 2007 Ronald Mah, M.A., Ph.D.
Last modified: June 13, 2014