(a) a developmentally focused reconstruction of the history and patterning of the problem,(b) a gradual elaboration of the client's tacit cognitive models of self and world that are not longer viable,(c) a full exploration, and(d) therapist support for the client's construction of new meaning structures (cf. Carlsen, 1988; Guidano, 1987)" (Lyddon, 1990, page 125).
What are the cultural meanings of compromising and not compromising to each partner?Do the partners perceive the issue in the same way?What are the gains and losses from not compromising?Might not compromising be keeping the relationship together?Are there ways that being stuck on an issue feels familiar and easy to the partners?Has conflict around an impasse ever helped the partners to respect each other and to improve their conflict resolution skills?How might the partners see the patterns established in their families of origin and their history as a couple playing into how they are dealing with the impasse? (Rosenblatt and Rieks, 2009, page 205-06)
How is the tone of the relationship and the emotional life of each partner affected by not being able to compromise on an important issue or by compromising?Has either partner ever felt they lost something important because of an impasse or a compromise in the relationship?Have there been times when the relationship has felt intolerable because of an impasse or a compromise?Do either of the partners worry that the two of them are fundamentally incompatible because of an impasse or because of the ways a compromise has played out? (Rosenblatt and Rieks, 2009, page 206).