Mine, Me, & Them- the Village - RonaldMah

Ronald Mah, M.A., Ph.D.
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist,
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Mine, Me, & Them- the Village

Workshops-Consulting > Children's Behavior

Mine, Me, & Them- The Village by the Numbers

Lecture and Discussion- Participants are encouraged to make the workshop more relevant to their concerns by asking questions.

DESCRIPTION: The “villages” of children are the smaller and larger communities in which they explore and experiment, as they develop both their sense of selves and a sense of belonging.  This training/talk describes the evolving nature of the “villages” or communities and the critical nature of collaboration among invested adults: parents, caregivers, and educators.  Fundamental expectations, environments, guidance, and discipline will derive from the collaboration… or not.  How well or poorly the adult “village” or community communicates will determine the healthy or unhealthy development of children to enter the larger community today and in the future.  Professional responsibilities and guidance how to create the adult coalition will be discussed.
What we communicate…
The Four Cornerstones of Self-Esteem:
Acceptance/Significance, Moral Virtue, Power & Control, and Competence

The Key Three:
o Positive Sense of Self
o Sense of Excellence and/or the Drive to Strive
o Good to Great Work Ethic
o Care for Others

“Special” risks Narcissism- Four Characteristics of Narcissism- Two Pairs
1) Omnipotence & Grandiosity
2) Self-righteous & Entitlement
Distinctions between Healthy Self/Community Member vs. Narcissism

Self-Care- "Me FIRST!"

“If it takes a village…”
The Development of a Child's World
First, second, and third communities: 2-1; 1-4; 1-12; 1-20/25; 1-30; 1- 50/100; 0-100
Parents + Educators: First and Second Guardians of the Community

Time In and Time Out in the “Village”
Three Basic Rules to Not Harm:
1) Self
2) Others
3) Process of the Community

Between Family/Parents & Caregiver/Teacher (Eight Principles/Goals)
1) Connection, Rapport
2) Integrity, Honesty
3) Competence, Knowledge
4) Experience
5) Availability
6) A Personal Relationship
7) Professionalism
8) Confidence

The Four “E’s” of Assertive AND Respectful Communication Between Parents & Professionals
1) Education
2) Experience
3) Expertise
4) Ethical

“We need to talk!”
 Overt & covert communication
 Verbal vs. Non-Verbal communication
 Cross-cultural communication

What the Theory of Punishment communicates

Just who’s talking? Intra-personal Issues- On Knowing Yourself (You w/You)

The Four Parenting Keys to Ensuring a Successful Student
1. Feed
2. Rest/Sleep
3. On Time
4. Homework

3056 Castro Valley Blvd., #82
Castro Valley, CA 94546
Ronald Mah, M.A., Ph.D.
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, MFT32136
office: (510) 582-5788
fax: (510) 889-6553
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