I Don't Know What to Say-Teens - RonaldMah
Ronald Mah, M.A., Ph.D.
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist,
Consultant/Trainer/Author
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How Dangerous
- How Dangerous is this Person?
- 1. The Question
- 2. Intuition, Conceptualization, & Resp
- 3. Assessing Assertion-Violence Continuum
- 4. Clarifying Questions
- 5. Characteristics and Criteria
- 6. Profiles for Aggression/ Violent Beh
- 7. Comparing Cho and Jim
- 8. Nine Types or Profiles
- 9. Carter and Audrey- Frustration
- 10. Father Knows Best... NOT!- Culture
- 11. Fun and Games for the Bully
- 12. Betrayal, Abandonment, & Rej- BDO
- 13. Special is the Narcissistic
- 14. World Conspiracy- Paranoid
- 15. Hannibal Lector- Antisocial
- 16. Flower or Fury- Psychotic
- 17. EtOH Disinhibition & CSubs Abuse
- 18. Aspergers SpecConsiderations
- 19. Application of Profile Process
- 20. Application of Criteria Process
- Conclusion & Postscript
- Bibliography
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Opening the Can of Worms-Cple
- Opening Can Worms
- 1. Major Complications to Cple Th
- 2. Focus on Emotions
- 3. Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
- 4. Intense Emotionality- Bipolar DO
- 5. Psychoeducation Foundations
- 6. Chronicity, Grief, and Loss
- 7. Self-Medication Interfering w/Cple Th
- 8. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
- 9. Developmental Trauma Disorder
- 10. Domestic & Foreign Warzones
- 11. Sexual Trauma
- 12. Personality Disorders
- Conclusion: Therapeutic Cautions
- Bibliography
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Conflict Control-Cple
- Conflict Control-Cple
- 1. Assertion Aggression Cple
- 2. Anger in Relationships
- 3. Couple Therapy?
- 4. Domestic Violence Therapy
- 5. Abuse: Bully-Victim Dynamics
- 6. Boundaries and Consequences
- 7. Cple Compositions w/Aggression
- 8. Beyond Bullying Abuse
- 9. Attachment
- 10. Social Information Processing
- 11. Verbal Fluency
- 12. Types and Patterns
- 13. Acceptance Peers & Education
- 14. Cycle of Tension-Cycle of Violence
- 15. Power and Control
- 16. SensitivityVigilance-HyperSenVigil
- 17. Impoverished Dialogical Process
- 18. Paranoid Narcissistic Borderline
- 19. Paranoid Challenges to Cple Rel.
- 20. Too Much
- 21. Distrust as Foundation to Therapy
- 22. Exceptions and Exceptional
- 23. Antisocial PDO in Cple Therapy
- 24. Couple Therapy Hides or Exposes
- 25. It Depends
- Appendix
- Bibilography
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I Don't You Don't, DepAnxiety-Cple
- I Don't You Don't, DepAnxiety-Cple
- 1. I Don't Matter- You Don't Matter
- 2. Gender Differences
- 3. Cultural Perspectives
- 4. All Therapy is About DepAnxiety
- 5. Marriage is About DepAnxiety!
- 6. Stressors DepAnxiety Marital Distress
- 7. Antecedents- Distal Elements
- 8. Habitual Responses & Attributions
- 9. DepAnxiety Makes Sense-OK is Crazy
- 10. Attachment
- 11. Communication & ProbSolving
- 12. Therapist DepAnxiety
- Bibliography
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Ouch Borderline in Couples
- Ouch Borderline-Cple
- 1. Challenge of Borderline PDO
- 2. Insight,Holding,DialecticalBeh Ther
- 3. Borderline PDO Couple Therapy
- 4. Effect on Couples & Partners
- 5. Features & Criteria
- 6. CultureAgeGenderFamily-DiffDX
- 7. Abandonment Fears & Attachment
- 8. ExperientialTrinity-ResponseTrinity
- 9. Emotional Intelligence
- 10. Challenging the Paradigm
- 11. Sensitivity & Support
- 12. Alone Lonely Desperate Choice
- 13. Quantitative Change
- 14. Embrace Challenge
- 15. Differences in Therapy
- 16. Therapist Vulnerabilities
- 17. Integration of Multiple Factors
- 18. Partner Insight
- Conclusion:ClinicalFlexibilityAdaptability
- Bibliography
-
Scorpion Narciss-Cple
- Scorpion in the Bed- Narcissistic in Cple
- 1. Ambush! Narcissist Partner in Cple Th
- 2. Features & Criteria
- 3. Narcissistic Personalities in Cple Th
- 4. Narcissistic PDO and/or Other DO
- 5. Kill the Therapist
- 6. Suitability for Cple Th- as a Cple
- 7. Partner Matches w/Narcissist
- 8. DSM Partner Diagnoses
- 9. Etiology
- 10. Therapy
- 11. TherapistFrustration/ClientAntagonism
- Conclusion- Gazing into the Abyss
- Bibliography
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SunMoon DependentHistrionic-Cple
- SunMoon DependentHist-Cple
- 1. Relationship Imbalance
- 2. Expanse of Problems
- 3. Dependent PDO in Cple & Therapy
- 4. Origins
- 5. Couple Therapy Dependent Partner
- 6. Phases & Goals in Therapy
- 7. Third Partner
- 8. Audience for the Histrionic
- 9. Potential to Change
- 10. Dependent vs. Histrionic PDO
- 11. Histrionic PDO in Cple and Therapy
- 12. Origins
- 13. Validating Logical Craziness
- 14. Mechanisms for Survival
- Bibliography
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Odd Off Different-Cpl
- Odd Off Different-Cpl
- Intro: What Is With This Person?
- 1. Time, Attention, & Energy Demands
- 2. Social Cues
- 3. Getting Too Much-Not Getting It
- 4. Not Getting It In the Couple- I
- 5. Not Getting It i=In the Couple- II
- 6. ADHD/ADD- Focus
- 7. Aspergers Syndrome- Rote Learning
- 8. Fit and Misfit
- Conclusion: Learning=Study+Practice
- Bibliography
-
Mine Yours Addiction- Cpl
- Mine Yours Addiction-Cpl
- Introduction
- 1. Addictions or Compulsivity Cples
- 2. Behavior Change Plus
- 3. Criteria Substance Abuse/Addictions
- 4. Threatening to Abandon Therapy
- 5. Cultural Norms Stereotypes DX
- 6. Alchoholic Dysfunctional FamSystems
- 7. Concordant Couples
- 8. Avoiding Addict Label Battle
- 9. Complications & Frustration
- 10. Two Personas- Who is in Control?
- 11. Early Recovery
- 12. Therapist as Witness
- 13. Support Systems
- 14. Wanting Change w/o Changing
- 15. Self-Soothing/Self-Care-Self-Med
- 16. Resentments & Communicaiton
- 17. Relapse & Relapse Prevention
- 18. Pattern, Process, & Plan
- 19. Therapeutic Relapse
- 20. Middle-Later Stages of Therapy
- 21. Lifestyle Change
- Appendix
- Bibliography
-
SorryNotEnough- Infidelity-Cpl
- SorryNotEnough-Infidelitiy-Cpl
- 1. Sorry is Not Enough
- 2. Causes of Infidelity
- 3. Prevalence
- 4. Potential Cross-Cultural Issues
- 5. Types and Function
- 6. Characterological Issues
- 7. Partner/Relationship Characteristics
- 8. Initial Stages of Affair & Therapy
- 9. Recovery & Healing
- 10. Foregiveness / Reconciliation
- 11. Transparency
- 12. Context for Infidelity
- 13. Trauma & Trust
- 14. Old Patterns of Behavior
- Conclusion
- Bibliography
- Therapy Interruptus
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DownRelRabbitHole- Assessment
- Down Rel RabbitHole
- Introduction: Dick and Jane
- 1. Beginning Questions
- 2. Foundations for Couples/Relationships
- 3. Facilitating Trust
- 4. Facilitating Vulnerability
- 5. Facilitating Self-Expression
- 6. Facilitating Empahty
- 7. Facilitating Investment
- 8. Using the Five Foundations
- 9. Devolution of the Relationship
- 10. Using Concepts in Therapy
- 11. Emotional Reconnection
- 12. Taking Individual Responsibility
- 13. Acknowledging Respective Injuries
- 14. Understanding Symbolic Comm
- 15. Learning Healthier Communication
- 16. Therapy from Assessment
- Conclusion: Out of the Rabbit Hole
- Bibliography
-
Out of Dev Chrysalis Intimacy/Relationship
- Out of Dev Chryalis Intimacy/Relationship
- Introductio: WhyPickUpBabyCrying?
- 1. Therapy as Re-Parenting
- 2. Basic Rules of Dev Theories
- 3. Development Happens in Stages
- 4. Critical Periods in Development
- 5. Quantitative to Qualitative Change
- 6. Dev is Sequential & Progressive
- 7. SkippingRushing DevProblems
- 8. GettingStuck Regressing-StressAbuse
- 9. Developmental Energy Reasserts
- 10. Resiliency DevEnergy Later
- 11. Satiation Triggers Dev Progression
- 12. Anxiety & Attachment
- 13. Practice Anxiety
- 14. Attachment Theory
- 15. Reflective Function
- 16. Separation Distress
- 17. Emotionally Focused Therapy
- 18. AttachInjury ResolutionModel
- 19. TherapeuticCues-Age-InapprBeh
- 20. "I'm Fine"- Denial
- 21. "You're the One!"- Projection
- 22. "I'm Sorry"- Introjection
- 23. CognDevProcessing- Relationships
- 24. Magic- Pre-Operational Thinking
- 25. If This, Then That- Concrete Oper
- 26. DependOn, ThenThis- Formal Oper
- 27. Facilitating Dev Progression
- 28. Quantitative/Qualitative Concrete/Abs
- Conclusion
- Bibliography
-
Born That Way- Termperament Rel
- Born That Way- Termperament Rel
- Introduction: Born That Way
- 1. Temperamental Traits
- 2. Intake w/o Temperamental Focus
- 3. Evaluation & Assessment
- 4. Context AmpsMitigates Temperament
- 5. Temperament & Anxiety
- 6. Attachment & Temperament
- 7. Learning Disabilities & Temperament
- 8. Personality Psychopathology Couples
- 9. Gender Characteristics
- 10. CultChallenges SpecTemperament
- 11. Successful Temperament-Personality
- 12. Temperamental Profiles
- 13. Positive Characteristics
- 14. Negative Characteristics
- 15. Goodness of Fit - Mutual Match
- 16. AssessTemperament & GoodnessFit
- 17. Therapy-Adapting for Mismatch
- Conclusion
- Bibliography
-
Ghost Guest Family Past
- GhostGuests FamilyPast Rel & Ther
- Introduction: Puppy, Poppi, Pauly - Copy
- 1. Neurosis & Reality Check
- 2. Scripts & Ghosts in Relationships
- 3. Compulsive Anticipation- Dynamics
- 4. Story & Coherence
- 5. Indicators FamOriginTher-X Factors
- 6. Illogical Values
- 7. Psuedo-Maturity
- 8. Rigidity of Roles
- 9. Preponderance Implicit Rules
- 10. Incorrect-Illogical Perception
- 11. Distancer-Pursuer Script
- 12.Gallant Knight-Damsel Script
- 13. Daddy'sGhost-Momma'sGirlScript
- 14. Money Scripts
- 15. Big Deal Out of Nothing Script
- 16. NuclearFam Proj- Triangulation
- 17. Differentiation
- 18. Multi-Generation Transmission
- Conclusion
- Bibliography
-
Roles Rigidity Repair in Relationships
- Roles Rigidity Repair in Relationships
- Introduction: Functionality
- 1. Roles, Hierarchy, & Re-Structuring
- 2. Match and Change
- 3. Equity & Inequity
- 4. Composition
- 5. Abuse Substance Abuse & Addiction
- 6. Join the System
- 7. Assess & Challenge
- 8. Reframe & Challenge
- 9. Authority & Power Indicators
- 10. Equity & Allocation Consensus
- 11. Power Benefit Romance
- 12. Rock of Resentment
- 13. Ineffective Conflict Resolution
- 14. Poorly Defined Roles- "Help"
- 15. Poor Commnication
- 16. Rigid or Enmeshed Boundaries
- 17. Inappropriate Coalitions
- 18. Authoritarian & Permissive Familes
- Conclusion: Therapy Temp Exec System
- Bibliography
-
Out Monkey Trap- Breaking Cycles Rel
- Out Monkey Trap- Breaking Cycles Rel
- Introduction: STRATEGIC PRINCIPLES
- 1. Sequence & Hierarchy
- 2. Basic Plan & Basic Questions
- 3. Treatment Plan
- 4. Interrupting the Pattern
- 5. Techniques
- 6. Humor
- 7. Things That Happen
- 8. Interpretation
- 9. Harm
- 10. Personal Effects
- 11. Response
- 12. Cyclical Behavior Patterns
- 13. Stuck Patterns of Behavior
- 14. Stereotyped Perception/Lack Flexibility
- 15. Lack Cognitive Insight
- 16. Persence Unacknowledged Values
- 17. AuthoritarianTraditions & Patterns
- 18. Question the Premises
- 19. Paradoxical Directives
- 20. Second Order Change
- 21. Crisis Impasse 2nd Order Change
- Conclusion: Monkey Trap
- Bibliography
-
Mirror Mirror- Self-Esteem Relationships
- Mirror MIrror-Self-Esteem Relationships
- Intro: Communication Oriented Therapy
- 1. Assessment
- 2. Treatment Plans & Goals
- 3. Interventions
- 4. Indicators Communication Therapy
- 5. Dysfunctional Rules & Rituals
- 6. How Self-Esteem is Developed
- 7. Self-Esteem & Socialization
- 8. Confrontation & Conflict
- 9. Four Honorings of Communication
- 10. Working Out Plan
- 11. Self-Esteem Theory Principles
- 12. Power & Control
- 13. Competence
- 14. Foundations of Self-Esteem
- 15. Self-Esteem in Relationship
- 16. Communication & Behavior
- Conclusion: 90 Seconds a Day
- Bibliography
-
All Relationships MultiCult
- All Relationships Multi-Cult
- Intro: Inherently Cross-Cult/Multi-Cult
- 1. Mismatch Cross-Cult Challenges
- 2. Therapists & Potential Diversity
- 3. Multiple Couples Assessments
- 4. TrapsChallenges-Determinism Rel
- 5. Stereotypes
- 6. Problematic Approaches
- 7. Educational Enrichment Approach
- 8. Moralistic Approach
- 9. Atonement Debt Guilt Approach
- 10. Entitlement Victim Approach
- 11. Quasi-Cathartic Invasive Approach
- 12. Practical Functional Approach
- 13. Basic Definitions
- 14. Changing Survival Demands
- 15. TherapyTherapist Match Clients
- 16.Cultural Change Goes Slowly
- 17. Convergence
- 18. Expression Areas Cult Differences
- 19. Gender Roles
- Conclusion
- Bibliography
-
Therapy! What's Therapy?
- Therapy? What's Therapy
- Introduction: Roles of the Therapist
- 1. Therapist Is... Therapy Is...
- 2. Judge - Referee
- 3. Facilitator - Mirror
- 4. Guide - Educator
- 5. Fixing - Interventionist
- 6. Parent
- 7. Therapist Cross-Cultural Guide
- 8. Therapist & Client Goals
- 9. Goals of Clients
- 10. Hope
- 11. Cultural Goals
- 12. Doing Your Own Therapy
- 13. Liking... Not Liking Clients
- 14. Ind Therapy in Cple & Fam Therapy
- 15. Challenge & Dissonance
- 16. Challenge Again
- 17. Name It
- Conclusion: It Depends
- Bibliography
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Therapy Articles
- Therapy Articles
- 13 Reasons Miss Soc Cues-
- Anger Distracts
- Anticipating Complic. in Cple
- Borderl-Narciss-Paran. Oh My!
- Corporal Punish Cautions
- Couple Capacity to Change
- Couple Therapy- What?
- Cynical Couple Therapist
- How Dangerous is My Client
- Incentive Beh Mod Prog
- Make Offer, teen games
- A MESS- drugs/alco
- No Broken Clients- Against SOCE
- Paranoid Personality in a Couple
- Scorpion Bed- the Narciss. Partner
- Therapy & Life w/ Elder from Hell
- Therapist Interactive Play
- Therapist Referral- Walk with Us
- What I Choose to Do- Therapist
- Why Pick Baby Crying
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I Don't Know What to Say-Teens
Workshops-Consulting > Siblings Adol Fam
"I Don't Know What to Say... I Don't Know What They Want"
Parenting & Communication With Adolescents
FORMAT:
Lecture and Discussion- Participants are encouraged to make the workshop more relevant to their concerns by asking questions.
DESCRIPTION:
Focus is on understanding dynamic issues in the parent-teen relationship: the intrapersonal, the interpersonal, developmental, and the system issues that can lead to conflict or cohesiveness between parent and teen. Addressed are the teen's emotional, psychological, social, and cultural needs as part of both the family community and of their adolescent community. Cultural failure and Family Values are examined as they fit and misfit the needs of teens. Effective and ineffective Parenting Styles and Communication are discussed.
SUMMARY OF CONTENT:
1) "FULFILLING OR FAILING?"
- Identifying the Needs and Issues of Adolescence
- How "Family Values" Fail Our Teens
- Society - Adult Society - Teen Society
- Traditional Culture - Adult Culture - Teen Culture
2) "YOU MEAN S/HE IS SUPPOSED TO ACT LIKE THIS!?"
- Teenager- The Developmental Stage of Adolescence
- Adolescent Egocentrism
3) "IT WAS SO DIFFERENT WHEN THEY WERE LITTLE!"
- Family Dynamics With Teens in the House
4) "SO WHAT DO I DO?"
- Authoritative vs. Authoritarian vs. Permissive Parenting
- The Principle of Scaffolding
- From Regulation to Co-regulation to Self-regulation
5) TAKING TURNS, SKIPPING TURNS, NOT TAKING YOUR TURN
- When Attitude Begats Attitude...
- that Instigates Attitude that Incites Attitude...
- Principles of Strategic Family Therapy
6) The Bottom Line
- As Aretha Franklin sings it, "R-E-S-P-E-C-T"
- Communications Theory Applied to Parent-Teen Talk
ADDRESS:
3056 Castro Valley Blvd., #82
Castro Valley, CA 94546
Ronald Mah, M.A., Ph.D.
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, MFT32136
