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She’s a fierce one, that Hilary. Always pushing it. Always gotta touch what you tell her not to touch. Hotheaded Hilary! The-touch-everything girl. I got my hands full with the dishes. What’s she up to now? “Hey… Hey… Don’t touch that!” She’s pausing… she’s looking at me… there’s that little smile… no, no… she heard me… she knows I don’t want her to touch it… that’s why she’s smiling! How evil!! “Hil-LAR-REE! Stop it!!” She’s looking dead at me… smiling… moving her hand, slowly toward it. She’s having fun messing with me! “HILARY, I said don’t touch that! I know that you understand me… I know… hey, hey, HEY! I said… I said…” She touched it! She TOUCHED IT!! I KNEW she would touch it. Aaargh! Darn it! And, she’s still looking me square in the eyes with that smug smirk on her face. She’s enjoying this. She’s messing with me! Well, I’LL SHOW HER!! I’LL SHOW HER WHO’S BOSS!! I’LL SHOW HER!! “YOU’RE ON TIME OUT! COME HERE! DON’T YOU RUN AWAY FROM ME! GOTCHA!!” Darn kid! Grab her tight around by the arms… sit her down on the bench! Sit her down with firmness… sit her down with anger… sit her down out of control… sit her down and hurt her with my grip on her arms and the force of her bottom on the bench… With fire in her eyes, Hilary looks up and snarls, “NO! Stop it!”
“Remember, when you finished Kindergarten? You had learned a lot of things and worked really hard for ten months, and then you and your friends had finally finished Kindergarten. Remember how special that was? And, then everyone got together to have a special celebration because finishing Kindergarten is really great. Well, you know I’ve been going to a school for a long time too… four years… it was a lot of work and hard too. You remember me staying up late and studying? And being sleepy and tired? And, going to classes sometimes at night and on Saturdays? Well, I finished! And, now I’m a Masters program graduate… kinda like you were a Kindergarten graduate. I finished too, and we’re going to dinner to have a family celebration for that!”
“He broke the rule… you know… the RULE. The rule that says you must be humble… you must pretend that you don’t have skills, abilities, or talents. You’re supposed to be self-deprecating. Deflect any praise, deny any praise… not… not say you are good at something! Even though, you may have been working all your life to become good at it… even though, everyone else says you are good at it. Even though, I’ve been sitting in this room thinking, feeling that you ARE good at it… But, I’m supposed to say it… NOT you! And, then you’re supposed to be humble and blush and… and… You’re supposed to build self-esteem in children… NOT ASSERT IT IN YOURSELF!”