1. Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome – refugee that had flashbacks during class time.2. Learning Disability – child with retrieval problem.Child with auditory or visual deceptive disability (missing social cues).3. Molested in early childhood – underlying rage.4. Abuse and neglected – testing availability of new caregivers; testing of anger response:abandonment, rejection, abuse.5. Fulfilling the IP role – mother who needed a disabled child.6. A.D.H.D. or A.D.D. child – "the far north pasture"7. The rebel or scapegoat in the alcoholic family system.8. Academic failures.9. Defying the step parent (new boy friend) in a newly blended family.10. Depression and anxiety.11. Cultural Issues12. Peer and gang influences.13. Drug and alcohol issues.14. Poor parenting (and the development of bullies).15. Other…
4 E’s and Data, Interpretations, Recommendations
1) The role that Self-Esteem plays in our lives and society.Abusers, Victims, & Survivors- The Differential Outcomes of Ineffective to Effective Self-Esteem Building.2) Where Self-Esteem begins and Where and How it begins to be lost.The self-concept, behavior, environment and feedback endless loop.3) Acceptance, Power & Control, Moral Virtue, and Competence- The four cornerstones of Self-esteem.4) THE FOUNDATION: Seven fundamentals to building Self-Esteemin the Adult-Child System.
Know Yourself Being a Model of Self-Love Take Care of Yourself...First! Being Emotionally and Physically Available Separate Distinguish Love & Like Understand Your Child
5) THE BUILDING: Eight guidelines to Building Self-Esteem in Children.
Validate Your Child Teach Responsibility without Shame, Blame, & Fault Teach that not one should be allowed to abuse him/her (including you). Teach him/her to always take care of him/herself Challenge / Not Push; Have Expectations / Not Demands Praise Appropriately Create Internalized Motivation Do the Right Thing even when it's the Hard Thing
6) The Trap & the Message of being the Perfect Parent or Perfect Teacher.7) The 90 Second a Day Self-Esteem Prescription Plan
1) Developmental factors (including life cycle issues for adults)
CAUSE: development, age, maturationTREATMENT: satiation of developmental needsIMPLICATIONS/JUDGEMENTS: person is reacting normally to normal developmentTOLERANCE: high (if developmental stage is recognized)
2) Situational factors (other children/colleagues, availability of toys/resources)
CAUSE: situationTREATMENT: change the situationIMPLICATIONS/JUDGMENTS: person is reacting normally to the immediate situation only; the behavior is not something he/she does all the timeTOLERANCE: high
3) Physical condition
CAUSE: fatigue, hungerTREATMENT: treat condition- rest or feedIMPLICATIONS/JUDGMENTS: person is reacting normally to the condition; condition changes, then behavior changesTOLERANCE: high
4) Emotional condition (situational)
CAUSE: fear, anxiety, joy, sadness, griefTREATMENT: validate emotions, teach appropriate expressionIMPLICATIONS/JUDGMENTS: person is reacting normally; colleague or supervisor may have judgment about appropriateness of the feelingTOLERANCE: high (depends on own comfort w/expression of emotions)
CAUSE: personalityTREATMENT: adjust for temperament/ socializeIMPLICATIONS/JUDGMENTS: person is reacting based on innate normal traits for him/herTOLERANCE: *high for temperament, *low for behavior
*6) Environmental/ecological factors (family, school, work systems)
CAUSE: family/school systems, turmoil, constraints- dysfunctionalityTREATMENT: alter system, change environmentIMPLICATIONS/JUDGMENTS: person is reacting normally to an adverse environment; victim of the environmentTOLERANCE: high- sympathetic (colleague/supervisor may have guilt)
*7) Pathology (psychological)
CAUSE: person's psychological problem/disorderTREATMENT: treat problem/disorder- "sick" patientIMPLICATIONS/JUDGMENTS: something is wrong with the personTOLERANCE: low to high?
CAUSE: evil or rotten essenceTREATMENT: abandonment, punishment, damnation, or seeking of spiritual interventionIMPLICATIONS/JUDGMENTS: person is unsalvageable by another's activity or interventionTOLERANCE: none to ?
1. Activity Level: How active generally is the child/person from an early age?2. Distractibility: How easily is the child/person distracted? Can s/he pay attention?3. Intensity: How loud is the child/person generally, whether happy or unhappy?4. Regularity: How predictable is the child/person in his/her patterns of sleep, appetite, bowel habits?5. Persistence: Does the child/person stay with something s/he likes? How persistent or stubborn is s/he when wants something?6. Sensory threshold: How does the child/person react to sensory stimuli: noise, bright lights, colors, smells, pain, warm weather, tastes, the texture and feel of clothes? Is s/he easily bothered? Is s/he easily over-stimulated?7. Approach/withdrawal: What is the child/person's initial response to newness- new places, people, foods, clothes?8. Adaptability: How does the child/person deal with transition and change?9. Mood: What is the child/person's basic mood? Do positive or negative reactions predominate?
1) EVALUATION- defining the problem, study your child, family reactions.2) REGAINING ADULT AUTHORITY- think temperament and to deal with behavior instead of responding emotionally or instinctively to what you perceive as the child's motives. Learn to:disengage, to become neutral in attitude, to think and evaluate before responding, to understand behavior as it is related to temperament, to replace why is he doing this to me w/ how can I understand his behavior.3) MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES- management is different from discipline. Labeling, cooling off, sense of timing, dealing with change, eye contact, choices, introducing gradually, understanding manipulative versus temperamental tantrums. Engage in self-monitoring and understanding your child.4) FAMILY GUIDANCE5) SUPPORT GROUPS
1. Try to be the same as others2. Hide or avoid their differences or difficulties (including emotional distress)3. Deny or minimize their differences or difficulties (including emotional distress)4. Work hard or harder than others5. Quit trying6. Compensate for differences, difficulties, or challenges
SAY: What I FELT.
What I WANTED.
What I LIKED or DIDN'T LIKE.
THEN SAY: What I think YOU FELT
What I think YOU WANTED
What I think YOU LIKE or DIDN'T LIKE
SAY: What I DID when I was upset.
What I want to happen INSTEAD.
What I can do DIFFERENTLY or BETTER next time.
What WE can do differently or better.
PLAN for the next time.
CLOSE by shaking hands or hugging.