Attention- an appeal to get the complete attention of the partnerPrivacy retreat or refuge-island- the area where an individual goes to get away and wherein one can stay with his/her own feelings or thoughts without being disturbed by the partner.Useful objects- each partner likes to be the ''owner'' of particular things, not juristic but psychological ownership.One's own thoughts and feelings- partners have the need to be the ''owners'' of their own private thoughts and feelings, and not be forced to share them.Body- with feeling of ownership of his/her body and good feelings about it, then he/she can share the body and bodily pleasures with another.Action territories- assigning or sharing tasks so that each have a certain number of territories only for themselves, that one is responsible for.Control versus execution of the territory- someone who is responsible for a task has control over the task and is the owner. The executioner is the one who does the task. Problems often occur when the ownership and the execution of a task is ''split up" (page 29-31).
Therapeutic Atmosphere seemed to be an essential component of a satisfying therapy experience…1. Trust in the Therapist. The following sub-themes were associated with trust:
Validation, supportiveness, and nonjudgment…Genuine interest and caring…Transparency of the therapist… willingness of the therapist to share his or her perceptions and understandings about the partners' issues contributed to the establishment of trust.
2. Safety in Session Structure. Safety in sessions was associated with two subthemes.
Session rules. Having some ground rules related to listening, and a prohibition of verbal abuse.Closure. This was accomplished when… therapists checked out whether it was okay to continue talking about an issue… a safe closure was achieved by the therapist "carefully choreographing the discussion so that (the clients) would be able to leave the session in a positive frame of mind.
3. Client Choice. Participants… seemed to find a nonimpositional orientation helpful. Subthemes included
Clients find their own answers… rather than imposing answers on them.Clients determine session focus… rather than having to stick to a predetermined plan.Clients do not have to adopt a particular world view or approach.Clients feel no pressure to respond in particular ways or to arrive at particular outcomes.
4. Equal treatment of Both Partners… participants seemed to value their therapists' abilities to work in ways that permitted both partners to feel heard and acknowledged.
Both partners feel heard… therapists actively intervened to make sure that both partners had a chance to talk.Both partners feel acknowledged… being recognized as unique individuals with unique experiences of therapy
5. Therapist Refocused Session… helpful when their therapists refocused the session on "core" issues discussion strayed too far afield.6. Therapy Context as Special Time to Focus on Relationship (page 300-01)
Some of the most meaningful impacts of couple therapy for all participants were the development of new ways of looking at and doing things. Four themes related to the generation of ideas and information emerged.1. Coming to a New Understanding About the Relationship.
Learning more about each other and seeing each other in a different light.Understanding underlying issues.New understanding about communication and couple interactions…. Communication was helped when their therapists shared personal examples from their own relationships to illustrate potential problem-solving strategies.
2. Seeing Self in a New Light… experiences in couple therapy had helped them develop new, more positive pictures of themselves as individuals… when their therapist asked… questions about… current ideas and behaviors in light of some of their family of origin experiences.3. New Ideas about Gender… develop new ideas about gender that helped them see themselves and their partners differently.4. Making Links Between Sessions (page 301-03).
1. Therapist moderates and controls discussion.2. Therapist facilitates communication.3. Therapist increases awareness of personal patterns.4. Therapist reflects and provides feedback.5. Therapist provides safe environment.6. Structure of therapy7. Therapist as an objective third party.8. Therapist encourages participation.9. Therapist is empathic.10. Therapist helps in resolving problems.11. Therapist challenges couple.12. Therapist asks questions. (page 155-56)
1. Unequal Treatment of Partner2. Therapist Talks When Clients Wants to Talk3. The Term "Therapy"4. One-Hour Session is Too Short… feeling constrained by… the 1 hour session format and the length of time it takes to "get into things" each session
Not Enough Bridge Between Therapy and Life. (page 303-004)
1. Wasting time in therapy.2. Therapist techniques are unclear.3. Therapist does not help in resolving issues.4. Therapist is not acting empathically.5. Being unfocused in therapy (page 155-56).