SelfEsteem home page - RonaldMah
Ronald Mah, M.A., Ph.D.
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist,
Consultant/Trainer/Author
Main menu:
×
- Home Page
- About
- Therapy-Counseling
- Coaching
-
Workshops-Consulting
- Workshop Consulting Topics
-
Children's Behavior
- Children's Beh homepage
- Challenging Kids & Challenged Kids
- Childhood Depression
- Conflict Resolution
- Difficult Beh- Classroom & Beyond
- Fix this Kid
- Foster Child
- It's a Zoo In Here
- Mine, Me, & Them- the Village
- One Minute Temper Tantrum Solution
- Out of the Twilight Zone Discipline
- Setting Boundaries
- Special Needs Challenges
- Temperament
- What Do When
- What Makes Children Successful
- Self Esteem Stress
- Child Dev Play
-
Siblings Adol Fam
- Siblings Adol Fam homepage
- 1+1=2 Much-Couples
- A MESS Talking Alcohol & Drugs
- Blood Thicker Water Sibling
- Desperate Sanctuary-Prison Teens
- Experiential Activites-PreAdol & Adol
- Family Dynamics Affecting Child & Families
- Father New Millennium
- I Don't Know What to Say-Teens
- One Family Many Cultures
- Supporting Your Teen
- Your Turn Now-ElderCare
-
Adults
- Adults homepage
- Balancing Professionalism
- Boogers Tantrum-Why Do This
- Building Constructive Alliances
- Burnout
- Comm w Parents in Denial
- Communication in Prof Relationships
- Connecting thru Communication
- Getting It Together- Fam Dyn Work
- Modern Parenting & Tradition
- Parent Ed-Child Abuse Prev
- Positive Resolutions-Angry Clients
- Uniting Together for Change
- Anti-Bias
- Additional Hum Serv
-
for Parents & Educators
- Parent & Educator Resources
- Books
-
Articles
- Parent-Educ Artic home page
- Self-Esteem Series
- Discipline Series
-
Other Articles
- Other Articles home page
- A MESS drugs/alcohol
- 5 Tips- Headline News
- 13 Reasons Miss Soc Cues
- ABCs of Temper Tantrums
- Anger Distracts
- Articulating Play
- Back to School
- Build Castle Walls- Boundaries
- Building Alliance w Angry
- Building Self-Esteem
- Chicken's Life- Bullys Victims
- Corporal Punish Cautions
- Developmentally App Pract
- Disability & Wild Child
- Healthy Transitions Children
- Incentive Beh Mod Prog
- LD & Child Behavior
- Make Offer, teen games
- Pre-Prejudice to Racism
- Remedies for TempTant
- Said Show Do Learning Styles
- Victim Bully Survivor
- Why Pick Baby Crying
-
DVDs
- DVD homepage
- Me and You- Self Esteem
- Victims Abusers/Bullies Survivors
- Understanding Child for Discipline
- Temper Tantrums
- Childhood Stress
- Just Play is Just Great
- Temperament & Personality
- Basic Rules of Dev Theories
- Dev Theories- Practical Application
- Dev App Practice- Rules of Life
- Conflict Resolution
- Using Time out
- Setting Boundaries
- Punishment & Praise
- 10 Most Important Skills
- Determining Violence Potential
- Assessment to Results
- Learning Diversity
- Missing Social Cues
- Transitions & Change
-
Handouts
- Handouts Home page
- Child & Human Dev Handouts
-
Understanding Ch Beh Handouts
- Understanding Ch Beh Handouts
- Daily Beh Report School/Parent
- Diagnostic Order Behavior
- Hierarchy of Discipline
- Incentive Beh Mod Program ODD
- Learning Disabilities & Child Beh
- Principles to Build Strong Child
- Quick Check for Learning Styles
- Stages Blending Step-Family
- Temperamental Evaluations
- Ten Skills Parent Teach Kids
- 13 Reasons for Missing Social Cues
- Communication Conflict Handouts
- Teenage Issues Handouts
- Change Growth Handouts
-
Mini-Posters Info Handouts
- Mini-Posters & Info Handouts
- Study & Practice = Learning
- On Irresponsibility
- On Appreciation
- On Unreasonable People
- Crisis is Danger/Opportunity
- Education is a Weapon Quotes
- 7 Deadly Habits that Destroy Rel.
- It's Hard
- Alone
- Remember
- Things Kids Don't Learn in School
- 100 Years from Now
- Success
- My Declaration of SE- VSatire
- Four Keys Successful Student
- Speak Your Mind- MKuhn
- 5 Core Concerns
- Adult Issues Work Dyn Handouts
-
Therapist Resources
- Therapist Resources Home page
-
Therapy Books
- Therapy Books
-
How Dangerous
- How Dangerous is this Person?
- 1. The Question
- 2. Intuition, Conceptualization, & Resp
- 3. Assessing Assertion-Violence Continuum
- 4. Clarifying Questions
- 5. Characteristics and Criteria
- 6. Profiles for Aggression/ Violent Beh
- 7. Comparing Cho and Jim
- 8. Nine Types or Profiles
- 9. Carter and Audrey- Frustration
- 10. Father Knows Best... NOT!- Culture
- 11. Fun and Games for the Bully
- 12. Betrayal, Abandonment, & Rej- BDO
- 13. Special is the Narcissistic
- 14. World Conspiracy- Paranoid
- 15. Hannibal Lector- Antisocial
- 16. Flower or Fury- Psychotic
- 17. EtOH Disinhibition & CSubs Abuse
- 18. Aspergers SpecConsiderations
- 19. Application of Profile Process
- 20. Application of Criteria Process
- Conclusion & Postscript
- Bibliography
-
Opening the Can of Worms-Cple
- Opening Can Worms
- 1. Major Complications to Cple Th
- 2. Focus on Emotions
- 3. Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
- 4. Intense Emotionality- Bipolar DO
- 5. Psychoeducation Foundations
- 6. Chronicity, Grief, and Loss
- 7. Self-Medication Interfering w/Cple Th
- 8. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
- 9. Developmental Trauma Disorder
- 10. Domestic & Foreign Warzones
- 11. Sexual Trauma
- 12. Personality Disorders
- Conclusion: Therapeutic Cautions
- Bibliography
-
Conflict Control-Cple
- Conflict Control-Cple
- 1. Assertion Aggression Cple
- 2. Anger in Relationships
- 3. Couple Therapy?
- 4. Domestic Violence Therapy
- 5. Abuse: Bully-Victim Dynamics
- 6. Boundaries and Consequences
- 7. Cple Compositions w/Aggression
- 8. Beyond Bullying Abuse
- 9. Attachment
- 10. Social Information Processing
- 11. Verbal Fluency
- 12. Types and Patterns
- 13. Acceptance Peers & Education
- 14. Cycle of Tension-Cycle of Violence
- 15. Power and Control
- 16. SensitivityVigilance-HyperSenVigil
- 17. Impoverished Dialogical Process
- 18. Paranoid Narcissistic Borderline
- 19. Paranoid Challenges to Cple Rel.
- 20. Too Much
- 21. Distrust as Foundation to Therapy
- 22. Exceptions and Exceptional
- 23. Antisocial PDO in Cple Therapy
- 24. Couple Therapy Hides or Exposes
- 25. It Depends
- Appendix
- Bibilography
-
I Don't You Don't, DepAnxiety-Cple
- I Don't You Don't, DepAnxiety-Cple
- 1. I Don't Matter- You Don't Matter
- 2. Gender Differences
- 3. Cultural Perspectives
- 4. All Therapy is About DepAnxiety
- 5. Marriage is About DepAnxiety!
- 6. Stressors DepAnxiety Marital Distress
- 7. Antecedents- Distal Elements
- 8. Habitual Responses & Attributions
- 9. DepAnxiety Makes Sense-OK is Crazy
- 10. Attachment
- 11. Communication & ProbSolving
- 12. Therapist DepAnxiety
- Bibliography
-
Ouch Borderline in Couples
- Ouch Borderline-Cple
- 1. Challenge of Borderline PDO
- 2. Insight,Holding,DialecticalBeh Ther
- 3. Borderline PDO Couple Therapy
- 4. Effect on Couples & Partners
- 5. Features & Criteria
- 6. CultureAgeGenderFamily-DiffDX
- 7. Abandonment Fears & Attachment
- 8. ExperientialTrinity-ResponseTrinity
- 9. Emotional Intelligence
- 10. Challenging the Paradigm
- 11. Sensitivity & Support
- 12. Alone Lonely Desperate Choice
- 13. Quantitative Change
- 14. Embrace Challenge
- 15. Differences in Therapy
- 16. Therapist Vulnerabilities
- 17. Integration of Multiple Factors
- 18. Partner Insight
- Conclusion:ClinicalFlexibilityAdaptability
- Bibliography
-
Scorpion Narciss-Cple
- Scorpion in the Bed- Narcissistic in Cple
- 1. Ambush! Narcissist Partner in Cple Th
- 2. Features & Criteria
- 3. Narcissistic Personalities in Cple Th
- 4. Narcissistic PDO and/or Other DO
- 5. Kill the Therapist
- 6. Suitability for Cple Th- as a Cple
- 7. Partner Matches w/Narcissist
- 8. DSM Partner Diagnoses
- 9. Etiology
- 10. Therapy
- 11. TherapistFrustration/ClientAntagonism
- Conclusion- Gazing into the Abyss
- Bibliography
-
SunMoon DependentHistrionic-Cple
- SunMoon DependentHist-Cple
- 1. Relationship Imbalance
- 2. Expanse of Problems
- 3. Dependent PDO in Cple & Therapy
- 4. Origins
- 5. Couple Therapy Dependent Partner
- 6. Phases & Goals in Therapy
- 7. Third Partner
- 8. Audience for the Histrionic
- 9. Potential to Change
- 10. Dependent vs. Histrionic PDO
- 11. Histrionic PDO in Cple and Therapy
- 12. Origins
- 13. Validating Logical Craziness
- 14. Mechanisms for Survival
- Bibliography
-
Odd Off Different-Cpl
- Odd Off Different-Cpl
- Intro: What Is With This Person?
- 1. Time, Attention, & Energy Demands
- 2. Social Cues
- 3. Getting Too Much-Not Getting It
- 4. Not Getting It In the Couple- I
- 5. Not Getting It i=In the Couple- II
- 6. ADHD/ADD- Focus
- 7. Aspergers Syndrome- Rote Learning
- 8. Fit and Misfit
- Conclusion: Learning=Study+Practice
- Bibliography
-
Mine Yours Addiction- Cpl
- Mine Yours Addiction-Cpl
- Introduction
- 1. Addictions or Compulsivity Cples
- 2. Behavior Change Plus
- 3. Criteria Substance Abuse/Addictions
- 4. Threatening to Abandon Therapy
- 5. Cultural Norms Stereotypes DX
- 6. Alchoholic Dysfunctional FamSystems
- 7. Concordant Couples
- 8. Avoiding Addict Label Battle
- 9. Complications & Frustration
- 10. Two Personas- Who is in Control?
- 11. Early Recovery
- 12. Therapist as Witness
- 13. Support Systems
- 14. Wanting Change w/o Changing
- 15. Self-Soothing/Self-Care-Self-Med
- 16. Resentments & Communicaiton
- 17. Relapse & Relapse Prevention
- 18. Pattern, Process, & Plan
- 19. Therapeutic Relapse
- 20. Middle-Later Stages of Therapy
- 21. Lifestyle Change
- Appendix
- Bibliography
-
SorryNotEnough- Infidelity-Cpl
- SorryNotEnough-Infidelitiy-Cpl
- 1. Sorry is Not Enough
- 2. Causes of Infidelity
- 3. Prevalence
- 4. Potential Cross-Cultural Issues
- 5. Types and Function
- 6. Characterological Issues
- 7. Partner/Relationship Characteristics
- 8. Initial Stages of Affair & Therapy
- 9. Recovery & Healing
- 10. Foregiveness / Reconciliation
- 11. Transparency
- 12. Context for Infidelity
- 13. Trauma & Trust
- 14. Old Patterns of Behavior
- Conclusion
- Bibliography
- Therapy Interruptus
-
DownRelRabbitHole- Assessment
- Down Rel RabbitHole
- Introduction: Dick and Jane
- 1. Beginning Questions
- 2. Foundations for Couples/Relationships
- 3. Facilitating Trust
- 4. Facilitating Vulnerability
- 5. Facilitating Self-Expression
- 6. Facilitating Empahty
- 7. Facilitating Investment
- 8. Using the Five Foundations
- 9. Devolution of the Relationship
- 10. Using Concepts in Therapy
- 11. Emotional Reconnection
- 12. Taking Individual Responsibility
- 13. Acknowledging Respective Injuries
- 14. Understanding Symbolic Comm
- 15. Learning Healthier Communication
- 16. Therapy from Assessment
- Conclusion: Out of the Rabbit Hole
- Bibliography
-
Out of Dev Chrysalis Intimacy/Relationship
- Out of Dev Chryalis Intimacy/Relationship
- Introductio: WhyPickUpBabyCrying?
- 1. Therapy as Re-Parenting
- 2. Basic Rules of Dev Theories
- 3. Development Happens in Stages
- 4. Critical Periods in Development
- 5. Quantitative to Qualitative Change
- 6. Dev is Sequential & Progressive
- 7. SkippingRushing DevProblems
- 8. GettingStuck Regressing-StressAbuse
- 9. Developmental Energy Reasserts
- 10. Resiliency DevEnergy Later
- 11. Satiation Triggers Dev Progression
- 12. Anxiety & Attachment
- 13. Practice Anxiety
- 14. Attachment Theory
- 15. Reflective Function
- 16. Separation Distress
- 17. Emotionally Focused Therapy
- 18. AttachInjury ResolutionModel
- 19. TherapeuticCues-Age-InapprBeh
- 20. "I'm Fine"- Denial
- 21. "You're the One!"- Projection
- 22. "I'm Sorry"- Introjection
- 23. CognDevProcessing- Relationships
- 24. Magic- Pre-Operational Thinking
- 25. If This, Then That- Concrete Oper
- 26. DependOn, ThenThis- Formal Oper
- 27. Facilitating Dev Progression
- 28. Quantitative/Qualitative Concrete/Abs
- Conclusion
- Bibliography
-
Born That Way- Termperament Rel
- Born That Way- Termperament Rel
- Introduction: Born That Way
- 1. Temperamental Traits
- 2. Intake w/o Temperamental Focus
- 3. Evaluation & Assessment
- 4. Context AmpsMitigates Temperament
- 5. Temperament & Anxiety
- 6. Attachment & Temperament
- 7. Learning Disabilities & Temperament
- 8. Personality Psychopathology Couples
- 9. Gender Characteristics
- 10. CultChallenges SpecTemperament
- 11. Successful Temperament-Personality
- 12. Temperamental Profiles
- 13. Positive Characteristics
- 14. Negative Characteristics
- 15. Goodness of Fit - Mutual Match
- 16. AssessTemperament & GoodnessFit
- 17. Therapy-Adapting for Mismatch
- Conclusion
- Bibliography
-
Ghost Guest Family Past
- GhostGuests FamilyPast Rel & Ther
- Introduction: Puppy, Poppi, Pauly - Copy
- 1. Neurosis & Reality Check
- 2. Scripts & Ghosts in Relationships
- 3. Compulsive Anticipation- Dynamics
- 4. Story & Coherence
- 5. Indicators FamOriginTher-X Factors
- 6. Illogical Values
- 7. Psuedo-Maturity
- 8. Rigidity of Roles
- 9. Preponderance Implicit Rules
- 10. Incorrect-Illogical Perception
- 11. Distancer-Pursuer Script
- 12.Gallant Knight-Damsel Script
- 13. Daddy'sGhost-Momma'sGirlScript
- 14. Money Scripts
- 15. Big Deal Out of Nothing Script
- 16. NuclearFam Proj- Triangulation
- 17. Differentiation
- 18. Multi-Generation Transmission
- Conclusion
- Bibliography
-
Roles Rigidity Repair in Relationships
- Roles Rigidity Repair in Relationships
- Introduction: Functionality
- 1. Roles, Hierarchy, & Re-Structuring
- 2. Match and Change
- 3. Equity & Inequity
- 4. Composition
- 5. Abuse Substance Abuse & Addiction
- 6. Join the System
- 7. Assess & Challenge
- 8. Reframe & Challenge
- 9. Authority & Power Indicators
- 10. Equity & Allocation Consensus
- 11. Power Benefit Romance
- 12. Rock of Resentment
- 13. Ineffective Conflict Resolution
- 14. Poorly Defined Roles- "Help"
- 15. Poor Commnication
- 16. Rigid or Enmeshed Boundaries
- 17. Inappropriate Coalitions
- 18. Authoritarian & Permissive Familes
- Conclusion: Therapy Temp Exec System
- Bibliography
-
Out Monkey Trap- Breaking Cycles Rel
- Out Monkey Trap- Breaking Cycles Rel
- Introduction: STRATEGIC PRINCIPLES
- 1. Sequence & Hierarchy
- 2. Basic Plan & Basic Questions
- 3. Treatment Plan
- 4. Interrupting the Pattern
- 5. Techniques
- 6. Humor
- 7. Things That Happen
- 8. Interpretation
- 9. Harm
- 10. Personal Effects
- 11. Response
- 12. Cyclical Behavior Patterns
- 13. Stuck Patterns of Behavior
- 14. Stereotyped Perception/Lack Flexibility
- 15. Lack Cognitive Insight
- 16. Persence Unacknowledged Values
- 17. AuthoritarianTraditions & Patterns
- 18. Question the Premises
- 19. Paradoxical Directives
- 20. Second Order Change
- 21. Crisis Impasse 2nd Order Change
- Conclusion: Monkey Trap
- Bibliography
-
Mirror Mirror- Self-Esteem Relationships
- Mirror MIrror-Self-Esteem Relationships
- Intro: Communication Oriented Therapy
- 1. Assessment
- 2. Treatment Plans & Goals
- 3. Interventions
- 4. Indicators Communication Therapy
- 5. Dysfunctional Rules & Rituals
- 6. How Self-Esteem is Developed
- 7. Self-Esteem & Socialization
- 8. Confrontation & Conflict
- 9. Four Honorings of Communication
- 10. Working Out Plan
- 11. Self-Esteem Theory Principles
- 12. Power & Control
- 13. Competence
- 14. Foundations of Self-Esteem
- 15. Self-Esteem in Relationship
- 16. Communication & Behavior
- Conclusion: 90 Seconds a Day
- Bibliography
-
All Relationships MultiCult
- All Relationships Multi-Cult
- Intro: Inherently Cross-Cult/Multi-Cult
- 1. Mismatch Cross-Cult Challenges
- 2. Therapists & Potential Diversity
- 3. Multiple Couples Assessments
- 4. TrapsChallenges-Determinism Rel
- 5. Stereotypes
- 6. Problematic Approaches
- 7. Educational Enrichment Approach
- 8. Moralistic Approach
- 9. Atonement Debt Guilt Approach
- 10. Entitlement Victim Approach
- 11. Quasi-Cathartic Invasive Approach
- 12. Practical Functional Approach
- 13. Basic Definitions
- 14. Changing Survival Demands
- 15. TherapyTherapist Match Clients
- 16.Cultural Change Goes Slowly
- 17. Convergence
- 18. Expression Areas Cult Differences
- 19. Gender Roles
- Conclusion
- Bibliography
-
Therapy! What's Therapy?
- Therapy? What's Therapy
- Introduction: Roles of the Therapist
- 1. Therapist Is... Therapy Is...
- 2. Judge - Referee
- 3. Facilitator - Mirror
- 4. Guide - Educator
- 5. Fixing - Interventionist
- 6. Parent
- 7. Therapist Cross-Cultural Guide
- 8. Therapist & Client Goals
- 9. Goals of Clients
- 10. Hope
- 11. Cultural Goals
- 12. Doing Your Own Therapy
- 13. Liking... Not Liking Clients
- 14. Ind Therapy in Cple & Fam Therapy
- 15. Challenge & Dissonance
- 16. Challenge Again
- 17. Name It
- Conclusion: It Depends
- Bibliography
-
Therapy Articles
- Therapy Articles
- 13 Reasons Miss Soc Cues-
- Anger Distracts
- Anticipating Complic. in Cple
- Borderl-Narciss-Paran. Oh My!
- Corporal Punish Cautions
- Couple Capacity to Change
- Couple Therapy- What?
- Cynical Couple Therapist
- How Dangerous is My Client
- Incentive Beh Mod Prog
- Make Offer, teen games
- A MESS- drugs/alco
- No Broken Clients- Against SOCE
- Paranoid Personality in a Couple
- Scorpion Bed- the Narciss. Partner
- Therapy & Life w/ Elder from Hell
- Therapist Interactive Play
- Therapist Referral- Walk with Us
- What I Choose to Do- Therapist
- Why Pick Baby Crying
- Prof Training Wkshps
- Links
- Contact Info
- About Office
- Payment Options
SelfEsteem home page
for Parents & Educators > Articles > Self-Esteem Series
Building Self-Esteem
in the Adult-Child System
A Series of Articles on Self-Esteem in Children
- Chapter 1: Baby to PreSchooler- The Development of Self-Awareness and Self-Esteem
- Chapter 2: Feedback, Frustration, and Self-Esteem- "You Guys Better...!"
- Chapter 3: The Most Dangerous Question a Parent Can Ask the Child
- Chapter 4: Significance Meets Socialization (& Frustration)
- Chapter 5: Stress 'em... Disappoint 'em... Frustrate 'Em... On Empowering Children
Chapters 6-10
- Chapter 6: Sigmund Freud Meets Jiminy Cricket, Acceptance to Moral Virtue
- Chapter 7: A Crisis Between the Ideal Self and Real Self, " I Can't Do That To My Friend!"
- Chapter 8: Using the Ideal Self vs. the Real Self, "You're Going To Let Them Play You Like That?"
- Chapter 9: Teachable Moments for a Positive Ideal Self and Real Self
- Chapter 10: Power and Control- the Struggle, Power Crazy Kids?
Chapters 11-15
- Chapter 11: The Container in Power and Control, “Never the Right Size!!”
- Chapter 12: Impact In Power and Control
- Chapter 13: Consequences in Power and Control, "Not Fair!"
- Chapter 14: Negativity in Power and Control, Make Me an Offer...!
- Chapter 15: Magic vs. Reality and Results in Power and Control, "Take One Child... Mix in..,"
Chapters 16-20
- Chapter 16: Competence- Who's Okay? Who's Not Okay?
- Chapter 17: Competnece- Dealing with Pain, "I'm Not OK!"
- Chapter 18: Competence and Developmentally Appropriate Practices
- Chapter 19 : Four Developmental Stages
- Chapter 20: The Four-Legged Table of Self-Esteem, I Any One Leg is Weak...
- Chapter 21: The Foundation of Self-Esteem -- YOU!!
- Chapter 22: "Benefits" From Being a Victim
- Chapter 23: Characteristics of Victims- The Chicken and the Chicken Hawk
- Chapter 24: How Victims Are Created
- Chapter 25: Developing Your Own Bully
- Chapter 26: You Can't Come to My Birthday Party
- Chapter 27: From 30%- Origins of Male-Female Differences and Modern Changes and Challenges
- Chapter 28: An Extra 7-10 Years of Adolescence... What Fun!
- Chapter 29: Take Care of Yourself... First!
- Chapter 30: Available & Then Separate
- Chapter 31: Honey, I Love You... But I Don't Like You!
- Chapter 32: I Know I'm Not a Baby, But Can't I Still Hurt!?
- Chapter 33: NO!! (You Don't Have the Right!)
- Chapter 34: You Can Do It vs. You Better Do It!
- Chapter 35: You're the Best... Really, You're the Best... Really…
- Chapter 36: Because I Want To... Because I Need To!
- Chapter 37: The Perfect Parent Trap
- Chapter 38: TheE 90 SecondCOND-A-Day Self-Esteem Prescription Plan
ADDRESS:
3056 Castro Valley Blvd., #82
Castro Valley, CA 94546
Ronald Mah, M.A., Ph.D.
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, MFT32136
