SorryNotEnough-Infidelitiy-Cpl - RonaldMah

Ronald Mah, M.A., Ph.D.
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist,
Consultant/Trainer/Author
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Sorry is not Enough, Infidelity and Betrayal in Couples and Couple Therapy
Despite social, cultural, and personal standards of monogamy, affairs remain prevalent in many committed couples. Possibly the most difficult challenge in couple therapy, infidelity in a committed couple can manifest in a variety of forms and for a variety of reasons that reflect the personality and issues of unfaithful partners. The therapist is guided in making accurate assessment of causes and types of affairs leading to therapeutic strategies. Reality that apology no matter how sincere is not enough for recovery lead to areas of clinical exploration. Gender and cultural standards and differences are differentiated as well as characterological issues including personality disorders in the assessment process.

Authentic and inauthentic forgiveness in recovery, along with acceptance as an alternative approach/process are examined for reconciliation, as well as the roles of the unfaithful partner and the offended partner in creating the context of infidelity. Immediate considerations at the beginning of treatment including boundaries, decision-making, and discussing the impact of the affair lead to issues of intense scrutiny, transparency, flashbacks, trauma, and assessment of commitment along with etiological considerations such as attachment losses, social modeling, and family-of-origin dynamics that guide the therapist to identify the logic of infidelity and thus, the logic of recovery.






Sorry is not Enough
Infidelity and Betrayal in Couples and Couple Therapy
by Ronald Mah

Table of Contents (links to chapters and sections)
Chapter 1: SORRY IS NOT ENOUGH
DEMOGRAPHICS
INFIDELITY TRIGGERS EVERYTHING
ONE NIGHT STANDS
EMOTIONAL INFIDELITY
GENDER & EMOTIONAL INTIMACY
REGULAR OCCASIONAL LIAISONS
LONG-TERM PARALLEL RELATIONSHIPS
AFFAIRS WITH A PURPOSE
TRANSITIONAL DEVELOPMENTAL AFFAIRS
HYPERSEXUAL BEHAVIORS & PARAPHILIAC AFFAIRS
POST-MARRIAGE/PRE-MARRIAGE AFFAIRS
AFFAIRS TO STABILIZE RELATIONSHIPS
PERSONALITY DISORDERS
PATTERNS OF INFIDELITY
ASSUMPTIONS & MOTIVATION
RELATIONSHIP STABILITY, LOGIC, AND FIDELITY
RELATIONSHIP QUALITY
COMMITMENT: FACILE, DESPERATE, UNQUALIFIED, & QUALIFIED
VOLITION & SATISFACTION
TURMOIL
SETTING BOUNDARIES
SELF-CARE
TIME-OUT & VENTING TECHNIQUES
DISCUSSING THE IMPACT OF THE AFFAIR
COPING WITH FLASHBACKS
NO MAJOR DECISIONS
INDIVIDUAL HISTORY AND ASSESSMENT
THERAPIST CONFIDENCE
THERAPY FROM CLINICAL JUDGMENT
AUTHENTIC & INAUTHENTIC FORGIVENESS
JUDGMENT, CONDEMNATION, & FORGIVENESS
ACCEPTANCE VS. FORGIVENESS
INTENSE SCRUTINY
CONTINUED INFIDELITY & SECRECY
HUMANIZING THE AFFAIR PARTNER
WHY?
THEORETICAL FORMULATION OF INFIDELITY
BETRAYAL UPON BETRAYAL
TRANSITION FROM VIGILANCE TO TRUST
LOGICAL INFIDELITY
THE RELATIONSHIP AFTER INFIDELITY

ADDRESS:
433 Estudillo Ave., #305
San Leandro, CA 94577-4915
Ronald Mah, M.A., Ph.D.
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, MFT32136
CONTACT INFORMATION:
office: (510) 582-5788
fax: (510) 889-6553
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