THE CONTAINER -- BOUNDARIES AND LIMITS
All my life, I've been listening... and waiting. I was never the right size... one day I was too big... another day I was too little. But now is the time finally. All my life, you have been telling me that someday I was going to grow up and have to make... get to make my own decisions. So here I am ready to make my own decisions. And I decide to... stop taking piano lessons... spend $70 on a Princess Beanie Baby... drop Algebra... watch another half-hour of television... buy that top... hang out with Charlie... eat only organic food... get a second pierce in each of my ears, and maybe one in my nose... What!? I can't!? What do you mean.... I can't? You said... you said I could make my own decisions! You said I could when I grow up! You lied to me! Make my own decisions!? Make my own decisions.... Yeah, right! Make my own decisions... but not that one! Not that way! Next thing you know, it'll turn out you lied to me about Santa Claus too! ... What!?
"Pick whatever you want. Oh, are you sure that's what you want? Isn't this one nice too? I don't think that was as nice. What do you think? Well....... Are you sure? I really like this one. So, that's the one you want? Uh huh.... Well, let's think about it for awhile. We'll come back."
"I have to give it to Daddy. So I give it to him. I will. Yep, I will... but I will do it… slowly! Slowly..... Very slowly.... As slowly as I can! If he tells me to hurry up, I say in outraged self-righteous voice, 'Whaaat?! I'm coming! Can't you wait? What's your hurry?' I delay as much as I can. If he gets upset, all the better -- it's working! He threatens me again. Okay okay... 'I'm coming. Geez, what's the rush?' I imply with my tone and body language that there is something wrong with Daddy for being so impatient. Finally, still going as slowly as I can get away with, I hold the pen out to him... just slightly out of his reach!
"'Here, take it,' I say as I keep it slightly out of Daddy's reach."
I move the pen slightly closer to his hand and just as he is about to grab it.... I... I... I drop it on the floor! Hah!! Yesss!! Yesss!! Gotcha!! Gotcha!! Gotcha!! Ohhhh! Check out the look on his face! Gotcha!! Gotcha!! Gotcha!! If Daddy says 'Why did you drop it?', I respond, 'Whaaat? I didn't do nuthin'! You dropped it. I can't help it if you drop it! Geez!'"
"NO...NOPE...UH UH... NO WAY! WHAT?...THAT'S STUPID!"
"I throw the rattle out of the crib. Someone picks it up and puts it back in the crib. That's daddy's face. Smile. Hi daddy. That was interesting. And I throw the rattle out of the crib again. He picks it up again and puts back in the crib again. Smile. Hi daddy. Hmmm? Interesting. And I throw it out again. Here it comes back again... and again... and again, because this is really interesting, so I do throw it again... and again... and again! Hey, I just learned something about the world. I just found out a way to have some power and control in my world as little as I am. I've learned that..... I throw and daddy fetches! Good daddy! I think I saw daddy do this with a stick and the doggie. Good doggie! Cool!"
Mom? Uh.... I've been doing all my chores and I'm doing well at school. Uh… Can I go to a concert with Barbara, Patti, and Janet on Saturday? Barbara's mom said she’d drive us, if it's okay with you. It's from 2 to 6 p.m. Can I go, please? I haven't gone out in a long time.
I have birthday money and some baby sitting money for my ticket. Barbara's, Patti's, and Janet's parents already said they could go. I need to tell Barbara tomorrow so her Mom can buy the tickets. Where? At the Coliseum. Who? Uh... the... a band. Can I go? Please, please, I'll be good. You know Barbara and Patti and Janet… they’re even more goody goody than me! You can trust me-- us.
Too late to get good seats? No… they have stadium seating... we can sit anywhere we want. We can even move up closer during the concert. You kinda have to push and shove, but that's part of the fun! Can I go? Please...
Who's the band? Uh...ummm... the… Beastie Boys. Can I go? Please? (What!? The Beastie Boys!!!)