It can be done through family of origin and cross-cultural work, "What were the models for conflict in your home? Was there someone who hurt you this way before? How did you father treat your mother? You?"Or, experientially, "What are you feeling when you say that? Do you hear your tone? What do you want?"Or, gestalt work, "There's hurt and anxiety in your body and voice? Where is the tension? Stay with it. What does it tell you? When did you feel it before?"Cognitive work or insight work can also be very helpful to access the core issues, and enough for some individuals or couples to move forward. However, depending on the depth of the trauma (stuckness), it may not be enough by itself to facilitate the change or growth. Additional cathartic work may be necessary.