1. There is a strong belief that change is always possible, even if change can only take place inside of the person. These changes might include feelings, perceptions, and expectations.2. Therapy sessions need to be experiential in order to bring about second level change. This involves a change in being, not only in doing or feeling.3. The problem is not the problem; coping is the problem. Therefore, therapy focuses on improving one's coping instead of just solving one's problems.4. Feelings belong to us and, therefore, we can learn to change them, manage them, and enjoy them.5. Therapy sets positively directional goals and resolves the impact of negative experiences.6. Therapy is systemic, both intrapsychically and interactively.7. People have the resources they need to cope and grow. Therapy is one vehicle to harness these resources to help people change.8. Most people choose familiarity over the discomfort or fear of change, especially during times of stress (Banmen, 2002, page 8).
"How do you feel right now?""How did you feel when your spouse left?""How did you express or handle your feelings?""How do you see yourself now that your wife left?""How do you see your partner now that he or she left you?""What other feelings are you aware of?""What hopes and expectations did you have of your marriage?""What did you possibly contribute to make the break up take place?""What deeper longings are you aware of?"