1. The therapist positions herself in a balanced way, giving each partner equal time, empathy, and consideration. She must hold both perspectives, no matter how polarized the couple is. Couples usually do not come back if the therapist is partial.2. The therapist may need to actively lead… reassuring the couple that their situation is one she often sees, and that there are ways to resolve it. She reminds them that the process of change is incremental; it occurs step by step.3. The therapist may suggest a time-limited period in which the couple will suspend making decisions about their future and instead will review when and how they got off track, and how they might try possible solutions. This ''review process'' grants the couple time to become less reactive and more reflective. A 6-week period is helpful, if possible.4. The therapist may instruct the couple on how to interact in the sessions, as well as between sessions, vis a vis their problems. In the sessions the therapist may work as ''traffic controller,'' not allowing one partner to interrupt the other or respond automatically in defensive ways. Outside the sessions she may recommend that they avoid problem-saturated conversations and save them for the therapy instead. To this end she may ask them to write down their feelings and bring them to the sessions.5. The therapist needs to acknowledge the strengths of the relationship, celebrating and amplifying the positive steps each partner takes. This is essential as it invites the couple to consider positive narratives and stimulates them to enter a virtuous cycle…6. The person of the therapist is a crucial factor in the process of therapy, as our feelings, vulnerabilities, and family of origin dynamics inform the ways that we engage, intervene, and get blocked. Sometimes it is necessary to obtain personal consultation in order to deal with the interface between our personal issues and those of the couple… (page 200).