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1. Positive sense of self, along with a sense of excellence2. Strong work ethic3. Sense of personal integrity and responsibility to others
Stress One must experience stress, since stress is what builds strength. Avoiding stress,avoids opportunities to grow.Frustrate One must experience frustration to learn how to survive it and deal with itsuccessfully, since it accompanies life experiences, stresses, and challenges. Avoiding frustration results in avoiding the stress that builds.Fail One must experience and become comfortable of failure, since failure is a natural consequence of trying anything or learning anything. Fear of failure results in one of two consequences: one will become socio-pathic and willing to win at all costs, no matter how harmful it is to oneself, others or the community; or, to guarantee no failure, one will not try.Suffer While experiencing stress, frustration, and failure, one must also suffer in order to experience that one can suffer without being destroyed or overwhelmed; to discover ones resiliency. If one feels that one cannot tolerate any suffering, then one will do extreme compulsive behaviors in order to avoid suffering.******************************************************************************Sensitivity A person can endure stress, frustration, failure, and suffering, if his/her caring authoritative individuals has the sensitivity to understand his/her abilities, limitations, and capacities.Support With that sensitivity, then such caring authoritative individuals can offer the appropriate support that one needs to benefit from stress, frustration, failure, and suffering.******************************************************************************Strength From the experiences with sensitive support, one will develop strength, andSkills From the experiences with sensitive support, one will develop skills.******************************************************************************Survive From the experiences, strength, and skills, one will develop a confidence that despite the difficulties and challenges of the world, they will survive.Flourish Once one is confident that he/she can survive, then he/she can risk and have the opportunity to flourish in the world.
1. successful management of daily life and interrelationships at home, in school, and in the community;2. helping children have a successful childhood- a sense of safety & security, family security, appropriate power and control, school success, self-esteem, positive peer relationships;3. preparing their children for successful adult life- financial security and affluence, personal and family security, power and control in their lives;4. accomplishing the first two components (daily management & a happy childhood) without harming the third (preparation for adult life).
Gain power & control in their adult lives; have successful careers; be successful in school (including college); acquire financial success- money; acquire skills useful in the society; develop values for successful choices in their lives; develop self-esteem; have a functional family; develop verbal-social-cultural fluency; avoid victimization; and be survivors.
Culture is usually very slow to respond to changes in the environment- historically the environment is extremely slow to change.Currently, because of rapid technological changes and because of changing societies the environment has changed quickly and fundamentally, while culture remains slow and even resistant to change!!
Traditional (Country of Origin, family-of-origin, etc.) vs. American Society & CultureHome vs. School vs. Work Society & CultureChild vs. Teen vs. Adult Society & Culture
The CURRENT CHILDHOOD SOCIETYThe CURRENT TEEN SOCIETYThe CURRENT AMERICAN SOCIETYThe IMMINENT ADULT SOCIETY the CHILD will face
The Adult's culture without adjustment cannot be successful for their children. Parents need to recognize and respect the culture of their children- and their survival instincts. Children face tremendous pressure to acquire the cultural standards of their communities. Cross-cultural conflict decreases with an appreciation of cultural differences and common needs.
• are considered significant by their peers and the community;• live up to the moral virtue as good parents;• feel they have more power & control in their lives;• see themselves as competent raising children.
• benefit from being significant to the important people in their lives, including their parents;• live up to the moral virtue as good children;• have more power & control in their lives;• feel competent doing the things that are important for selves and in pleasing their parents.
An unexpected stress of parenting comes from the parents' expectation that their children would maintain the parents' cultural identity in America, or in the evolving society. Parents can be overwhelmed by the complexity of parenting Americanized (or modern) children, as well as dealing with other life issues. Parents need to attend to their own needs- especially their stress issues to be effective parents.